I'm in an abusive relationship with my laundry!  

My loved ones tell me to leave it, but I just can't seem to.  Every time I try to break free, it slowly comes creeping back without me even realizing it and soon has, once again, ensnared me in its web of torture.  I have dreams where I'm fleeing my laundry, but I can't run and my ninja skills are useless against it.  I scream, but no one can hear me, because my laundry has shoved itself down my throat.  It's horrible! 

It wasn't always this way.  In our period of courtship, I thought nothing could come between us.  But the rose colored glasses came off all too quickly.  It started with just a general dislike towards one another that slowly escalated.  I'm ashamed to say that I have, on occasion, said some choice words to my laundry that I am not proud of.  My laundry retaliated however, and struck where it knew to be the most damaging.  It chewed up one of my favorite tapes.  It cut me deep.  I thought it would end there, with simple name calling and the destroying of valuable items, but my laundry is vicious and unpredictable.  It had a plan!  First it gathered in strength, knowing it would need its full power.  Then, when the laundry basket was almost too heavy to carry, it struck.  That's right.  It FORCED me to fall down the stairs.  The fall was not a graceful one, and I did not come out unscathed.  Now I live my life in fear.  Fear of what it might do next.  But, what can I do?  I am completely at its mercy.  Maybe we'll all move to a nudist colony.