Taekwondo class

A bunch of my students tested for their senior white belts. Aren't they cute? A-hem... I mean TOUGH looking! (You can't call kids in a Taekwondo class "cute"!)

And this one... AMAZING! If you come to America, that's all you really need to know how to say.

Worst music video EVER!

You HAVE to watch this!!!

Perm, Russia

Ten years ago I was in Perm, Russia teaching English to children. TEN years ago!!! That makes me feel extremely old! This post is dedicated to the good old days in Mother Russia. Enjoy the pics and experts from my journal.

"...I can't believe how numbingly cold it is here! I wear 7 layers and still chatter and shiver my way about. Russia has defined cold!" Picture taken in the middle of May.

"...I ride the trolleybus to and from school. It is quite the experience. They load people on until you are sure you can hear the hinges and bolts squeaking in protest. Today I was at the back of the bus, and as more and more people made their way on, I was pressed up against the back window. Soon, I was pressed up against the foggy glass so tightly, that my feet actually came up off the floor! There I was, dangling away, my little feet kicking and swaying with the bus. I would have laughed out loud if it hadn't been for my face being smothered in the black, vodka scented, leather jacket of the man in front of me!"

"I love my class! We call ourselves the 'Knights'. All of the classes have Arthurian names. The kids in my class are Danil, Yulia, Sonya, Sasha, Olya and Nikita. Today Danil came up to me, put his arms around my head and asked, "Why is your head SO SMALL?" ...The school is quite a sight with corroding walls, little to no furniture, and no flushing toilets. I never realized how plush my life is until I came here."

"...My Russian little sister is such a doll! Her name is Ksusha. We have so much fun in my room at night playing games and taking silly pictures." "...Today Roma came up to me and whispered in my ear, "When I grow up can I marry you, because I love you!" Left to Right: Ksusha, Roma, Dasha

While visiting Yekaterinburg: "...After visiting the Romanov grave site, we went and ate at McPeak's, a McDonald's that was overtaken by the mafia! The food was exactly the same. After we went to an outdoor market. We hadn't been there for too long before we realized we were being followed by gypsies. It only started with a few, but soon grew to a mob! They wanted us to buy their goods, and when Karalee declined, they grabbed her hair, broke some off and began shouting at us. They were apparently cursing us. At their cries, a group of gypsie men began heading our direction. We began running out of the park and I peeked over my shoulder and was horrified to see them running after us! Fear spurred us on a little faster, and they gave up the chase after a block."

"...Today I was able to travel back in time and visit OLD Russia. We went to a place called Kongor. It was a small villiage made up of old wooden houses. They were beautiful! In the houses I felt as though if I was quiet enough I would be able to actually hear the voices of the people that had lived there hundreds of years ago." "... As I was walking out of the mill, Sergei wanted us to pose for a picture. He began the countdown. 3.. 2.. just as he snapped the picture, little Michael mooned the camara! I've never seen Sergei (his dad) so embarrassed!"

* "Today we visited the ice caves! They were amazing and a little bit eerie! They were as intricate and awe inspiring as any other cave I've been to, and they were completely made up of ice! There were quite a few areas that you could travel through by sliding on your bottom. It was so much fun!"

While in Moscow. "... Later we went to Red Square. It was great to be able to see St. Basil's Cathedral in real life. The man who designed it was put to death so that he would never be able to design another like it."

While in St. Petersburg. "I LOVE St. Petersburg. I have never been anywhere so beautiful. The buildings take your breath away! If I ever get a chance to come back to Russia, this is where I want to come!" "Today while visiting the Pooshkin Palace, Carrie and I saw a marble bridge that we wanted to take a picture on, unfortunately it was fenced in. Being the bright girls that we are, we decided not to let that stand in our way, and proceeded to jump the fence. We did not get our picture, however, because we were too busy running away after having set off an alarm!"

"...Today was our last day of teaching and our day for saying goodbye to the kids. We had a party, with food, games and lots of tears. I am SO SAD! I can't believe that I will probably never see these kids again! I've been crying all day! I will miss them so much!"

My husband posted this on youtube.  His brother was the one recording it all.  Check it out, it's pretty funny.

The tramp buried alive!

A winter wonderland!  As in... I wonder if I'll make it home.  Many people were asking themselves that very question last night as a snow storm pounded Utah Wednesday night.  I would like to relate the tales of two individuals and their quest to answer this deep and highly symbolic question.

#1.  My sister-in-law whom we'll call Fay (names have been changed to protect the innocent).  Fay was on her way home from picking up the kids from school.  Not just her own kids, but other kids as well.  Big kids.  Small kids.  Short kids.  Tall kids.  Happy kids.  Sad kids.  Drive you up the wall kids.  Lots and lots of kids.  They did not make it very far, however, before they were stuck in a gridlock on the highway.  That was around 3:30.  By 6:00, Fay was considering abandoning the van, but with wind gusts reaching 70 MPH, and with neither her nor her infant son being equipped with a coat, that wasn't really an option.  They had consumed a few granola bars, but they had no water or anywhere to answer the call of nature.  They were running out of resources.  At 8:30, Fay called her husband Jack.  "You HAVE to come rescue us!"  Which he did... the hero!  He found someone with a four-wheel drive truck and plowed his way to Fay.  Fay finally made it home at 9:30 that night.  She had been in the van with all those kids for 5 hours!!!

#2.  My Master instructor whom we'll call Ray.  Ray was on his way home from work.  Ray soon discovered that the road leading to his home was closed, so he made a quick stop at Smith's to gather some supplies.  He fashioned some water-proof pants out of garbage bags, and covered his hands with socks.  He then proceeded to hike his way home through the elements.  (Which has to be at least a couple of miles).  Very "Survivor Man".  Although I don't think he had to eat any bugs.

So, my question to you is... which would be a worse death.  To freeze to death hiking wearing garbage bag pants, or death by kids.  Hmm... I think I'd have to go with the kids on this one.  

I'm in an abusive relationship with my laundry!  

My loved ones tell me to leave it, but I just can't seem to.  Every time I try to break free, it slowly comes creeping back without me even realizing it and soon has, once again, ensnared me in its web of torture.  I have dreams where I'm fleeing my laundry, but I can't run and my ninja skills are useless against it.  I scream, but no one can hear me, because my laundry has shoved itself down my throat.  It's horrible! 

It wasn't always this way.  In our period of courtship, I thought nothing could come between us.  But the rose colored glasses came off all too quickly.  It started with just a general dislike towards one another that slowly escalated.  I'm ashamed to say that I have, on occasion, said some choice words to my laundry that I am not proud of.  My laundry retaliated however, and struck where it knew to be the most damaging.  It chewed up one of my favorite tapes.  It cut me deep.  I thought it would end there, with simple name calling and the destroying of valuable items, but my laundry is vicious and unpredictable.  It had a plan!  First it gathered in strength, knowing it would need its full power.  Then, when the laundry basket was almost too heavy to carry, it struck.  That's right.  It FORCED me to fall down the stairs.  The fall was not a graceful one, and I did not come out unscathed.  Now I live my life in fear.  Fear of what it might do next.  But, what can I do?  I am completely at its mercy.  Maybe we'll all move to a nudist colony. 

Top 10 reasons why having a baby sister rocks!

(according to Matthew)

10.  She laughs harder for me than for anyone else.

9.  There's another person around smaller than me.

8.  She keeps mom & dad preoccupied while I sneak candy.

7.  She's easy to catch when playing Chase.

6.  She's easy to find when playing Hide n Seek.

5.  She lets me hold her.

4.  My name is her favorite one to say.

3.  She's cute.

2.  She is one of my minions.

And the #1 reason why having a baby sister rocks is:

YOU CAN BLAME STUFF ON HER!!!  

(Mom and Dad will NEVER know!!!)

Who knew Mary could write at 18 months?