Hairy Matt

Matt: "It's been TEN YEARS and I STILL don't have facial hair!!!"

Mom: "Matt, you won't start getting facial hair until you hit puberty."

Matt: "But David (Matt's friend) said he's been in puberty THREE times already, and I haven't even been in it once!"

Hmmm. Yeah. Kind of forgot that this thing existed.

Time to RESURRECT it!

Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Ninjas don't need tonsils

Tina with Two Tonsils is soon to become Tina with Two Minus Two Tonsils!!!  (have to keep with the alliteration!)

That's right, it's time to say goodbye to some life-long friends of mine.  Maybe the Dr. will let me keep them.  I could put them in a jar on my coffee table as a great conversation piece.  Mmmm.  Maybe they'll even find my twin in one of the tonsils!

I hear it's a horrible surgery as an adult, but I'm ok with it because I hear that tonsils just slow ninjas down.  At least that's what EVERYBODY says.

A handy list of things I'm afraid of:

(Ninja's are allowed to be afraid of 7 things)

1.  Spiders. (too creepy for a picture)

2.  SHARKS!  Look at this picture!!!  Do I REALLY need to explain this fear?

3.  Whales.  I know they're supposed to be all cute and cuddly, but they make me squirm in my seat.  

4.  Freaky Big Fish.  (or any size fish for that matter)  Fish this big should NOT be normal!  Think of them  swimming under you... where you can't see them...  

5.  Ominous weeds in water.  The evil kind that are just waiting to tangle up your legs and drag you to a watery death!!!  (I can hardly look at this picture!)

6.  The ocean.  And waves.  I really don't like waves.  And any form of ocean life.  And pictures of ocean creatures.  And great expanses of water.  And boats that go into those great expanses of water... 

AAAGGHHH!!!

I am now taking big, deep, cleansing breaths.

Ahh.

Much better.

I just can't scroll up. 

7.  Bricks.  Not just any kind of bricks.  The kind that I have to break for my 3rd dan test with my teeny, tiny HAND!!!  The hand that is chuck full of breakable bones... and that is attached to a delicate wrist that I'm positive is NOT shatter-proof!!!  And the kind of brick that has lots of jagged edges that like to bite and tear and rip apart your skin to make you pay for breaking it.

Yeah, I'm kind of scared of those kind of bricks.  :(

April Fools Day 2009

Unsuspecting Father falls Victim to Offspring Scam

A father, and resident of Eagle Mountain, returned home from work on Wednesday, April 1st just like any other day, but this day was to be far from ordinary. 

 

"I knew the kids were in trouble the moment I walked in the door.  They were both sitting in 'time out' chairs and neither looked very happy.  I didn't see the wounds until I got closer."

What Ryan Gifford, the father of the children, didn't know was that it was all a ruse.

"I told him the boys had gotten into a fight.  I told him Carter had cut Matt's face with his pocket knife and Matt had punched Carter in the face in retaliation."  The boy's mother laughingly told reporters. 

But the Father was far from laughing.  Witnesses, including the children's grandparents, say he was "deeply concerned" and his reaction was one of shock and anger.

"He was really mad at us."  Carter Gifford, one of the children sheepishly explained.  "He told me I couldn't have a pocket knife anymore.  He thought Matt was going to have to get stitches."

The game was soon revealed, however, and all involved had a good laugh.  Even the dad.

"They got me."  He admitted.  "They really got me."

http://seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com/

Funniest blog EVER!  My brother and sister-in-law told me about it and they are my new favorite people.  The rest of you are going to have to try a little harder to get to the top of my list.

My new exercise video

Watch this!!! You won't regret it!

BOYS!

We live the law of Moses at the Gifford house.  An eye for an eye and all that.  Actually, it looks more like an eye for a tooth.

When Matt gets a hold of the camara!

Anyone have any ideas on what this is a picture of? I think the lighter pink protrusion is Matt's tongue... other than that it's a mystery. Maybe I should blow it up, hang it in my home and call it art. All that it needs is a title.

*** TINA SPARKLES***

So, I was asked by some friends where my nickname "Tina Sparkles" came from. One gal commented, "I just thought it was because you liked sparkles a lot, but that didn't really seem like you." I should hope not!!!  My family started calling me Tina Sparkles when the movie Strictly Ballroom came out. HILARIOUS movie... and if you don't like it, then I don't like you. The first time you see it, it's weird... after that, it's just funny. Here's the only clip I could find that has a scene with the infamous Tina Sparkles. You have to keep watching for a few minutes before you get to her.