Girls Camp '08

The Wilderness Wars
Tina Gifford VS. Black Bear Mama





The arena is gone, only to be replaced by the great outdoors. The thundering crowd has vanished, becoming only a faint scent on the wind. The only spectators are a few furry woodland creatures. Yet the battle will be just as vicious. In the red corner, Black Bear Mama with her two cubs. In the blue corner, Tina with her two friends. Although equal in number, the teams are grotesquely uneven. Good thing Tina brought her ninja skills with her! The teams face each other,the first stage of the battle being fought with the mind. The competition is sized up, their weaknesses sought out to later be used against them. Strengths are also noted and mentally filed away in a cool, calculated way. Bear: big sharp claws; Tina: Ninja skills. Bear: Big sharp teeth; Tina: ninja skills. Bear: really strong; Tina: ninja skills. Bear: can run really fast; Tina: ninja skills. Strategy is cunningly laid. All this happens in the blink of an eye. A strange wind picks up, blowing neighboring trees in anticipation, yet a circle of eerie calm encases the opponents. Suddenly, the blue team springs into action. Stealthily they back away around the corner, away from the bears piercing gaze. (A bear's Jedi mind powers are very strong.) Then, relying on Tina's ninja skills, the knowledge and wisdom she has accumulated over the years and countless hours of training, they RUN FOR IT!!!
(ninja skills TOTALLY include running away and screaming like a little girl. Although as a ninja, your little girl screaming takes place inside the confines of your mind.)

Yeah, so I pretty much won that one too.
(I didn't get eaten did I???)

Girls Camp '08

The Push-up Wars
Tina Gifford VS. 20 Priesthood leaders

The arena seats are filled to maximum capacity, all eyes focused on the spectacle on stage. The once dead microphone crackles to life in the hands of the commentator. In the red corner, weighing in at an accumulative estimated weight of 4000 lbs, masses twenty priesthood leaders. In the blue corner, weighing in at 100 lbs, Tina Gifford stands alone. The rules are simple; whomever completes the most push-ups in one minutes time is crowned the victor. A hush falls over the crowd as the competitors assume the possition. A shrill whistle blow pierces the air, simultaneously spurring the athletes into motion and releasing the spectators from their spell-bound silence. The crowds yells drown out the grunts of effort coming from the red side. Already some of their team have succumed to exhaustion and lay helpless on the concrete floor. The blue side is quiet, each push-up as easily executed as the one before it. The crowds favorite is easily distinguished as its shout begins to form into a rythm of chanting. "TINA! TINA!" Time has hit its halfway mark. "32, 33, 34..." The crowd screams out each push towards victory. "38, 39, 40..." As Tina's number count mounts, so does the dropped out members of the red team. "45, 46, 47..." Soon, one lone man remains. "53, 54, 55..." The minutes end approaches. The last man knows he is simply too far behind to win, yet he laboriously continues to try and hold on to some dignity. "59, 60, 61!!!" The crowd goes wild as the final whistle blows, ending the battle. The champion gets to her feet. The red teams sits, defeated, in stunned silence. The adoring crowd stands in celebratory jubilation. 61 push-ups in 60 seconds. It was a push-up war that would go down in the history books.

That was rather quite fun winning. I guess all those push-ups in Taekwondo have paid off.